The freezing rain outside has now turned to regular rain. Just plain cold rain. I'm sitting inside with my foot propped up on a pillow as I recover from a long overdue foot surgery. It's that time of year where I check the days off the calendar having gotten through them. It's a holding pattern. It doesn't even feel like real life sometimes. More like a waiting room.
Helping people through Equine Facilitated Learning was something I had dreamed about for several years. Having been certified in July and launching Nalani Encounters in December, I had hoped to have one session before year end, but December was sunny and warmer than usual, and I was fortunate enough to have three sessions. My expectations were exceeded as I watched the impact the horses had on the participants. After each session, we huddled together and talked about what an amazing experience it was for all. I was more excited than ever to fully launch in the Spring.
But then.... January arrived. My closest friends know how hard winter is for me. Call it seasonal depression, but it's more than that. I am a doer. I have never known how to sit still. Part of it is lack of patience. Having found my "calling" later in life, I feel like I need to be on full throttle at all times. Sitting still is not part of my plan. But you know what they say about making plans! It seems the only way for me to sit still is to have a major calamity, and I have had a few. This time, it was just taking care of an old injury.
One of my friends gave me a hyacinth bulb for Christmas this year. I filled the glass jar with water, inserted the bulb and set it on my table. One day I glanced at it and some roots had started to grow from the bulb into the water. I started paying attention and every day I would notice a few more roots sprouting. There was nothing happening on the surface, but the roots continued to sprout until finally a green spike emerged through the top of the bulb.
I began to look forward to seeing the tiny changes in the bulb each day and this verse kept coming to mind: "See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland" Isaiah 43:19. And I began to realize that there is purpose in this season. I am healing, resting, and planning; laying the foundation to make my vision for Nalani Encounters a reality, nursing my foot so that I can once again walk, hike, and ride without pain. What feels like wasted time is actually necessary preparation for my business and restoration for my body.
There are now tiny little blooms sprouting from the bulb in my glass jar. It won't be long before the days will be long, and the hours will be spent outside; no doubt I'll be stretching every moment and filling every bit of daylight with activity. I might even wish for a day like today when there is no expectation of me other than to rest. Well, that might be taking it a little far. But, as the rain continues to fall outside my window, I pull the blanket up around me, close my eyes, and lean into the stillness knowing that while I heal, God is at work doing a "new thing" and I can rest knowing that I am in good hands.