I haven’t written anything “bloggish” in a while because I have been focusing all of my writing energy on my book. I think often we are so intent on our tasks, to-do lists, and ‘purpose’ in life that we become uninterruptible and lose sight of the fact that there is more to that purpose than we know. I am super goal oriented and can be laser focused on my mission to save horses and my desire to make Nalani the best organization for everyone involved. Furthermore, because Nalani is my calling, I justify putting blinders on to everything else around me by convincing myself it’s not only necessary, but honorable.
This week brought many interruptions. One night around 9pm, I was in the zone working on my book, when a friend reached out; she was in crisis. I couldn’t fix her problem, but I could offer a listening ear and a cup of hot tea. My plans shifted and we sat together until late into the night. Next, a talented blog writer with quite a following reached out to ask ME for advice on writing a book (what in the world?!) and she and I talked over a zoom call. Our conversation was light and easy and we connected over shared core beliefs. One morning, I spent some extra time with one of my volunteers. It was HOT and as we were putting things away, we sat down on the table to take a quick break soaking in the AC and thirty minutes later, we were chatting about life as our legs dangled from the table.
During every one of these conversations, the other person apologized for taking up my time and acknowledged that they know I am “very busy.” Yet, in those moments, there was nowhere else I would have rather been. I wonder if we have become such slaves to our schedules, that we don’t recognize that life happens in the spaces in between what we plan and what we accomplish.
Early in the week, I commented on a Facebook post from a woman I had never met, simply to offer some kind words. Two days later, she drove an hour and forty minutes to meet me. We spent three hours together! We just clicked and time flew by as we shared stories about our lives. When she left, I felt inspired and encouraged. Last week, I had no idea this woman even existed and now I have a wonderful new friend with whom I share a deep connection.
I didn’t check off many to-do’s this week. I don’t have anything tangible to show for my time. But, it’s been one of the most fulfilling weeks I have had in a long time. Instead of that nagging feeling that I need to work on my book and check things off my list, I am savoring the meaningful conversations and I know one thing. I want more. More interruption. More connection.
The theme of my year is SURRENDER. I have let go of certain dreams, expectations, habits, timelines and even people, some requiring a daily commitment to keep moving forward. When I am struggling, I picture myself opening my tightly gripped hands and releasing the thing I have been clinging to. I am learning that in doing so, I now have space to receive with open hands and an open heart. New adventures, new friendships. And most of all the knowledge that if I let go of control and live intentionally interruptible, there are many unexpected gifts of connection just ahead, waiting for me….
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